Race Week - Muncie 70.3
I’ve always been an impulsive person. Always intend to remain. In the middle of this week, the voices began to bombard and they were insistent and impatient. My body couldn’t remember the last time we raced and like an addict began searching online for the best and brightest opportunity to do that while taking a shot at my last major piece of clerical work for 2012 - Pro card 2013. Things were lining up perfectly for Vineman on July 15th until they weren’t, until this need arrived and I used miles to book a flight back home to Chicago on July 5th. On the morning of July 6th, I’ll wake up in my parents’ new house in Lake Forest, Illinois. I’ll swim, bike, run in my hometown before making the 4 hour drive to Muncie, Indiana with my dad. July 7th, I’ll wake up and take care of the thousand things I take care of before I sit on the edge of my bed, alone for a conversation, knowing I need to finish top 3 in the amateur field to get what I came for:
- Okay, we’re here. People pulled strings to deliver you, to Chicago then Muncie, good people - the best people you know, to take this line at the last possible minute. Because you are what you are but I’m not going to get into that.
- AND I’M GRATEFUL. SO VERY. MY HEART IS FULL.
- That’s not nearly enough.
- WHAT ELSE IS THERE?
- Are we being serious? What do you intend to do?
- RACE HARD.
- You’re a fucking joke. Came all this way to race hard? Everyone races hard. Why are we here? Why did you bring me all this way?! To see fucking Muncie!!?
- TO RACE WITH VIOLENCE.
- TO DROOL, AND BLEED, AND SPIT, AND FIGHT, AND STUMBLE. AND BREAK AND BUILD AND BREAK. I’M HERE TO TAKE MYSELF — THE PARTS OF ME I USED TO THINK WERE STRONG, AND COMPASSIONATELY RIP THROUGH AND COMPRESS THEM, BURY THEM IN THE CORNER OF MY HOTEL HEART AND MEMORIES, LOVINGLY WITHOUT ROOM FOR INTERPRETATION - I AM MOVING ON. I NEED TO CROSS THAT LINE WITH AN EFFORT UNDER MY BELT I DIDN’T DREAM OF 3 MONTHS AGO, ONE I’LL BE POSITIVELY ASHAMED OF 3 MONTHS FROM NOW.
- Better. Decent, I suppose. How appropriately amateur of you. Good luck. Get what you are after. Imagine me in 2013. I am going to tear you apart.
- I’LL BE READY.
- We’ll see.